Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Day 301 - Amazing What a Year Can Do

This morning I woke up and there was definately a change in the weather!  I love living in California!!  It seems like you get just enough of a season, and then it changes!  The garden is nearly done, the trees and grapevines are slowly changing colors and loosing their leaves.  This is my most favorite time of the year!  I love the color, the temperature and the excitement of the anticipating holidays that are coming up.

So this morning, I need to find something that was warmer than shorts and a shirt.  I had to dig in the closet for my sweats.  As I did so, I remember them being tight from last year.  I dreaded putting them on and then I remember I am a lot lighter than I was last year.  (Yea, I was still sleepy when I was getting dressed) I then got excited to see how everything fit!  I have a few things that are going to Goodwill because they are just not going to work!  Other items, items I wasn't able to squeeze in last year went on effortlessly.  :o)  I saw my reflection in the mirror and I was actually pleased with what I saw.  ???  I don't think I have ever really been "pleased" with my reflection before!!  Seriously!!  Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not claiming perfection, or even "doneness" with my journey, uh-uh, no way!  What I am saying is that I wasn't completely repulsed by it.  For the last couple of decades, I wouldn't look in the mirror at my body.  What was the point?  Don't want to start the day depressed!  So I do find myself taking peeks now and then and it's fun to be surprised.  I still have a little ways to go.  I swear the next 10 pounds will soley come off my backside, so I know there will be a big change there when I am finished. But it's nice to look in the mirror and feel happy or at least hopeful for a change.  That is certainly something to get used to I have to say.  You wouldn't think so, but after spending sooooooo long not liking your reflection, it is strange to feel at peace with it.

What made me feel compelled to write this morning was that I started to think about the last year.  It hasn't been quite a year that I started my journey.  In fact, last year at this time I just had a baby and I was absolutely hating the way I physically felt!  I had baby blues, probably PPD because it took over a year to shake it, and there are some days I think it's lingering around.  But what a difference a year makes!!!  Seriously!  My physical body has done a 180 since last year.  Has it been hard?  I wouldn't think so.  Just have to keep going.  Take one day at a time.  Don't stop and don't give in.  One foot after the other.  As I mentioned before, I am soooo not done yet, so I really shouldn't be reflecting on the year yet, but I just had to take time and share my thoughts.  A year is a long time and they seem to be flying by faster each year.  Years for me now seem a lot shorter then they did when I was a kid.  But a year is a long enough time to make drastic changes in your life whether it's physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally.  We just can't underestimate what can be done in a year.

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