Getting Ready For the New Year

*knocks on screen* Remember me? Yep, I may just be one of the worst bloggers, ever.  I can't believe it's been 6 months since I last posted! How is that even possible? I even have a Blogger app on my phone to make it easier--so much for relying on the app. 

I have to admit, when I looked at the date of my last post, I giggled.  Like literally.  Why?  Because it's just about the SAME time when I was asked to step up from being PSO Treasurer (think PTA) to PRESIDENT! Yep, that's me.  From what I've heard from other mothers, being PTA/PTO/PSO President is a lot of hard work and it takes a lot of time.  But what I've learned is that being the president the first year of the organization's history in a charter school that just started it's second year is beyond time consuming!  Now, don't think I'm complaining, I'm not.  I'm soooo not. I am beyond grateful for this opportunity and actually enjoy every hour I spend at the school and at home on the phone/computer.  I'm just stating a fact. It takes a lot of time, time away from other focuses.

So, maybe I'm not the worst Blogger. I've been legit busy, but I could have possibly snuck a post in here and there the last few months, right? Maybe? Was I that busy?  Based on friend's reactions, I guess I was.

Now, down to business--weight loss business.  I was doing pretty good this year, despite the relocation to a new school, town, house, etc.  The scale said I was, although I felt that I was eating whatever I pretty much wanted. I really was doing well as I look back. For two months over the summer, I didn't eat any man made carbs, and it felt fabulous! But the weirdest thing happened, and I'm still analysing it to understand the, why? 

Around early autumn I learned something that took me by surprise.  I needed to get new pants, the size I was wearing was 18.  So when I went to the store, I tried on 18s and they were HUGE.  So I tried on 16s, still huge.  I finally realized I'm actually a size 14.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  Like really. Looked. At. Myself.  And I discovered I saw myself much heavier than I actually was.  It was a real eye opener. 

Then, do you know what happened?

After being excited over this new reality, the holidays kicked in.  And you know what I did? I ate.  Like, really ate.  Like, pretty much anything that was in front of me, I ate--no restraint whatsoever.  In the back of my subconscious mind--at the place where you think you are in control, but really, you aren't--I found myself saying, "You've done well.  You've pretty much eaten what you like all year and you've maintained.  Eat this.  Eat that. You'll be okay."

So I did.  

What kind of crazy talk is that?!  It's like the whole devil on one shoulder with the angel on the other.  In my case, I swear my devil took out my angel with a huge cream puff grenade, because she was nowhere to be found.  She's been mute. During the season starting with Halloween, I just ate whatever was there because "I was size 14."  I swear I'm insane.  When I feel heavy, I tend to eat less.  But as soon as I feel like I'm in control, I soon find myself going out of control.

So, here I am at the end of 2012 and I'm not sure what goals to make.  Or if I should even make any since it's such a great opportunity for sabotage.  Maybe I should go in half effort to fool myself into doing better.  I don't know. After 30+ years of playing this game, I'm tired and I think that weight control, for some, is literally something that can put you in the loony bin.  I know what it takes.  I know it's not complicated.  I know I have the ability to do it.  So how is it that I'm ending this year "fluffy" as ever?

All I can say is this, and I make no promises, but I have one year until I'm 40. One. And I'll be darned if I begin the next decade of my life unhappy with the way I look, but mostly with the way I feel. I want to shop and have a closet filled with cute clothes, not with old familiars that are faded and getting holey because "I don't want to buy big clothes when I'm just about to get smaller."  I want to feel cute.  I've had 4 kids, and I've forgiven myself for not looking my best, I've allowed myself to be in "progress." I have no excuse now.  My baby is about to start school and I have run out of excuses.  It's all me. Now, I just need to get my focus in check, and make 2013 the year I stop the insanity. I'm seriously tired of being a yo-yo.  I'm seriously tired of this game.  You probably think I've gone insane.  Maybe I have? I want to focus on something else.

Food For Thought: Saturated Fats

Many of you who personally know me and my cooking habits know I don't buy fake foods (ie fat free/sugar free/carb free created food) and that I typically cook and bake the majority of my family's meals.  I use real butter, full fat sour cream (it has like 2 natural ingredients), mayo and if I'm making a special treat, oh yeah, I'm buying 100% heavy cream and whipping it up.  No fake, man-made, chemical filled Cool Whip in this house!

For the last 3 or so weeks? (I've lost count--it needs to be a lifestyle, not a certain period of time, right?) I've been following a special PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) food plan to help reduce my symptoms naturally.  Modern medicine treats the symptoms with a myriad of drugs and a person with PCOS will typically have a medicine cabinet that resembles their grandparents. (This was my thoughts one day, when in my early 20's, I looked at mine) This eating plan basically has no man-made carbohydrates, dairy or grains.  At first, I wasn't quite sure how I would do it since I am naturally a carbo-loading, cheese eating, chocolate munching gal, but it got easier each day as I learned to be more creative with my meals.  So far I have lost just over 10 pounds and I honestly feel my hormones are adjusting as my symptoms are fluctuating.

In my reading today, I came across the following bit of information and it perfectly explains my reason for spending more time in my kitchen than the average American.  When I was studying for my BS in Holistic Nutrition I had countless texts express the same thing: eat natural foods. I honestly believe that most disease we have today in our country is because of our diet. Our bodies are miraculous, but they don't have super powers.  If a person continually puts garbage in, it's only a matter of time before their body can't keep up and disease/illness will be the result.

"Quite a number of native or primitive cultures in the 20th century or earlier consumed a diet high in saturated fat.  Yet they had very little heart disease, diabetes or obesity.

"Moreover, heart attacks in Americans were almost unheard of at the beginning of the 20th century, but by the 1960s, heart attack was common--in spite of the fact that total fat consumption remained virtually the same during this period.  How do we make sense of that? Has focusing on reducing fat and cholesterol in the American diet produced a healthier population? Clearly, it has not.  Ongoing nutrition research is revealing the complexity of our situation, in which we have a highly manipulated food supply with a great deal of synthetic additives and chemical alteration of foods.  These altered foods are not ideally suited to our internal chemistry.  Chronic health problems are the result.

"The American diet during the 20th century has undergone an astounding increase in the consumption of highly processed foods and beverages, many of which are laden with refined carbohydrates (sugars and starches) and refined vegetable oils.  The processing has stripped away fiber and essential nutrients.  It has degraded the proteins and fats naturally found in foods.  Modern food technology has created "fabricated" food molecules that don't even exist in nature.  Foods are contaminated with man-made chemicals and some chemicals are intentionally added for marking reasons." --Nancy Dunne, N.D.

And don't get me started about fast food...that's a blog post for another day.

Gluten & Dairy Free: Day 1

Today was the first day I didn't consume any gluten or dairy, and you know what? I FEEL GREAT! I have to admit, I caught myself several times reaching for things that contained one or the other. It's certainly going to be a challenge getting started, but shortly, I'll have new habits and it'll be easier.

Today I simply focused on WHAT I was eating, not how much--that will come later.

Breakfast-I completely forgot. (Bad me) But this has become a naughty habit and it's going to be one of the first things I work on.

Lunch-Turkey patty (plain with spices) and grapes

Snack-Nuts

Dinner-Salmon and green beans tossed with olive oil & garlic

Snack-Raspberries & nuts

I don't claim this as being a super day, but I will say it's a much improved one.

This journey will start hard, but with perseverance, it will most certainly be worth it.

*wipes off cobwebs*

*blows off dust*

Yes, I've been neglecting this blog.  I have a great reason though.  This year, we moved. Twice. And guess what? We still have half a house worth of stuff STILL TO MOVE. Yeah, relocating isn't an easy thing, especially when the market is smokin' hot!

Yeah, we went into this house hunting adventure thinking it was a buyers market. We couldn't be more wrong! Where we are at, it's a seller's market.  Around here, if you don't put an offer on a house the minute you walk through, kiss it goodbye.  When we didn't think we got the house we are currently living in, we actually put an offer on a house we never laid eyes on just so we'd have a chance to get it.  Yeah, it was nuts.  But luckily, we ended up winning the bid war and got the house we put our first offer on.

So, here I am. 

About the same weight I was in 2009.

And I hate it.

And I'm angry. Why? Because I didn't binge like I did the last time I got to this weight.  This time, I should've maintained or even only gained a few pounds. (I haven't been the most diligent) But 40 pounds? Ridiculous. I blame my PCOS.

I do admit, I need to get serious about adjusting my diet for PCOS.

"Polycyctic ovary syndrome is a chronic hormonal and metabolic disorder that presents a bewildering array of health problems such as infertility, overweight, hirsutism, hair loss, depression, dark skin patches and lack of energy.

"As serious as these symptoms are, the consequences of not dealing effectively with PCOS are even more serious, including heart disease, diabetes, reduced quality of life and shortened lifespan.

"Our review of published research on PCOS and our clinical experience strongly indicates that a healthy diet can favorably influcence the outcome of this disorder.  In other words, what you eat and drink will either improve  or worsen the symptoms and consequences of PCOS."

--The Natural Diet Solution for PCOS and Infertility

I'm going to take this as a challenge.  I'm going to kick PCOS' butt. I'm going to blog about the journey.